Slowly Strolling In The Sweet Sunshine

Trip to the Farm

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:49:38 -0400

So i was in new brunswick for the past week and a bit with my dad and the dogs opening the place up and i get home and suddenly realize i didn’t take any pictures like i’d planned. oh well, farm’s not going anywhere, pretty sure it has to stay put in the miramichi.

I love going to the farm. Everything’s simpler there. the food isn’t fancy, things like fresh fish from the harbour, lobster bought off the boat, wild fiddle heads that my friend picked, wild berries and home made ice cream with cream from the cows next door. but they’re so fresh and so good you just can’t beat it. I spent my days helping dad with the renovations. we got almost all the new windows in and started the wall fram for the new room downstairs, cleaned up after the winter and when i wasnt helping dad i was up the road working on the young horses for boyd. I’m his favourite crash test dumby! lol

in the evenings i’d sit out on the porch or in the sun room with a book and a cup of tea, eating some stewed rhubarb from our patch in the back. If not home i’m at a relative’s or at the local pub with kelsey and her friends having a couple beers, playing pool, just relaxing.

After visits like that i’m never surprised when my thoughts stray to one day living there.

It’s amazing what a late night bike ride through the rain can do. I got off work around 11pm...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:27:17 -0400

It’s amazing what a late night bike ride through the rain can do. I got off work around 11pm last night and walk out the door and it’s down pouring outside, like a real intense heavy rain fall with thunder and lightening lighting up the whole sky. I’ve always been partial to that weather. My adrenaline start pumping, I get really excited and I just have to be out in it. I’m getting soaked through, my hair plastered to my face, i’m going through all the big puddles just laughing and weaving through the puddles just loving it. The few people I pass are all bundled in raincoats and boots with umbrellas seemingly miserable and I just don’t get it. Rain just washes everything away (cliche I know but deal with it) and everything just smells better, cleaner. Took me twice as long as normal to get home cause I just wanted to savour it and when i finally got home, literally dripping wet, I went upstairs, got Lily and went back outside with her (she likes rain and puddles too) and we just ran through the puddles in the back lane way for almost an hour. I forgot that I don’t know where my life is going, that I’m alone, that I still live at my parents and probably will for a while longer. I was just euphoric in the rain. It was just what I needed. By the end I was soaked, my puppy was soaked but at least for a time, I was happy. Something I haven’t been in months. It was such a relief.

Gizmo and the Hazelnut (x)

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:08:15 -0400

Gizmo and the Hazelnut (x)

on friday I found out that an amazing person who i had the joy to call a friend was killed in a...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 00:33:14 -0400

on friday I found out that an amazing person who i had the joy to call a friend was killed in a train accident. Paul was such a bright and wonderful person. He was a true tanamakooner. He started at the camp as a camper in grade 8 during one of the spring sessions and waited for the day when he could come back as a staff member to share his experience with the next generation. Following that first year when he was on outdoor ed with me, that just wasn’t enough and he came back for the whole summer as a tripper. He was always so full of like and light. Always quick to smile and lend a hand. He was killed march 21st but I didnt find out till the next day and when i did, though i tried to, i couldn’t work. It was too great a shock that someone as amazing as paul was just gone, in a flash. He left behind so many people who love him and will never forget the light he brought to our lives. The tanama family has been rocked to our core but we’ll always be there for eachother to support through this. My thoughts especially turn to paul’s family and his tanamafamily, particularly peacock, jenn and KK.

We’ll never forget you paul, see you later

So my darling jon was in town with his disney on ice tour. we...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:15:04 -0400

So my darling jon was in town with his disney on ice tour. we were so excited. havent seen each other since may of 2010. We spent a lovely week together as much as we could between his shows where he stars as pinocchio!

On saturday i got to go with him to the afternoon show, chilling back stage before the show and a fun photo op after with prince adam, belle, merida and arielle!

I had a blast at the show especially since all the cast knew where i was sitting and kept on messing with me. they’re a fun bunch. Loved going to the birthday party and nights out with them.

sadly jon had to leave but maybe i’ll see him again soon

nothing better then being back in the saddle

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:06:57 -0500

nothing better then being back in the saddle

it’s amazing how small a human can get

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 15:44:29 -0500

it’s amazing how small a human can get

Valentine's Day

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:38:46 -0500

so v-day’s coming up. Chapter’s is full of fluffy heart shaped pink and red stuff every where. We have a promo going called reveal the love where if you get a greeting card you get at least 10% off your entire purchase and potentially your whole purchase.

It’s funny really cause not much of it’s being sold. turns out people hate vday lol when i was little i loved it, i made hand made cards for all my friends and class mates, made a fancy little box for my desk to receive valentines, buy chocolates for friends, even learned how to make oragami roses to add an extra flair for the fancy. i thought it was beautiful to tell the people in your life you cared about them. lol funny joke right? HA! it’s a holiday for stores and for people to get brownie points and half the time doesnt mean anything, or so i’ve come to observe.

though i’, sorry, i shouldnt be so cynical about this. means lots to lots of people who are all lovey dovey and stuff so we’ll let them have their stuff. i’m happy for em really, it’s really great. just never been really great in return.

Happy valentines day everyone. hope it brings you love and happiness

celebrity sighting #2 at chapters

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:01:05 -0500

So tonight I was working cash and I noticed some of my co-workers getting all excited and it took me a while to find out that Miley cyrus and liam hemsworth were here in ottawa, in our chapters, buying a whole lot of books. Turns out some of my co-workers are big fans and have to really restrain themselves lol the only reason we even knew she was in the store was cause she needed to ask for help. the rest of the time she had her hat low and her scarf tie all the way above her nose lol the following picture is bittany and mouhnier with miley and liam. miley was not really impressed haha maybe i should sell these to the tabloids and make lots of money :P but not really cause i have the tabloids. they’re just mean

chick flicks give unrealistic expectations about love and friendship...

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 01:30:37 -0500

starting to question why I like them so much

totally a stupid idiot

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 17:08:24 -0500

it’s funny how people say one thing and do they other isn’t it. just goes to show,...

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 14:25:26 -0500

it’s funny how people say one thing and do they other isn’t it. just goes to show, people tell you what you want to hear or what they think will get them what they want.

If you were to over hear someone giving a description of you, what do you think you’d hear,...

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 20:35:01 -0500

If you were to over hear someone giving a description of you, what do you think you’d hear, and would it be the same as what they’d say to your face?

Recently a good friend of mine and i were talking about things, the way of the world and such. He sees things very interestingly, a photographers eye. some say they see more then just a model of the scenery. The good ones anyways. I asked him what he saw when he looked at me and he answered with:

”I see a strong, charged person who knows what she wants but is unsure of the best way to go about getting it. a young woman with reservations about the world who needs to throw off the chains of conventionality and pursue your passions in order to find yourself. an open mind and a fragile heart. Desperate not to be ruled by emotions but a slave to them non the less. which is not a bad thing in the least. there is both fear and excitement in your eyes and once that fear has been shackled you will truly discover yourself”

an interesting response though i wouldnt know the truth of it considering i have to ask other people who i am.

it’s funny to think about. are you who you make yourself to be or who people see you as and if you show someone a fake you, does that become who you are?

So christmas is coming as we all know. snow still isnt falling, instead we get slush but we can...

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 21:47:23 -0500

So christmas is coming as we all know. snow still isnt falling, instead we get slush but we can usually block that part out. all i want to be doing is curling up by the fire with lily, a pot of tea and a good book or tv show but instead i’m working 47 hr weeks, making things for some people, buying for others. I have a long list of things to pick up for people from chapters plus a few things of my own. Btw you’re all getting books (which obvi isnt the case cause we all know i love my surprises and would never spoil that!) I have some people to take shopping and others to meet for some holiday visits, though with my work schedule i have no clue when that’ll all be. I have a birthday cake to make and decorate for a girl at chapters and soup bowls to paint for my father.

With all this going on, i’m always surrounded by people but sometimes it feels like there’s a veil or like things are just a pantomime meant to throw me off and confuse me of the reality of things. I’ve been having so many dreams these days, sleep doesnt come easily and is usually fitful. I can’t remember most of the dreams, i just wake up thinking that soon the carpet will be pulled from underneath me. like when you build your hopes up and they come crashing down. a similar feeling. It’s certainly putting a gloom over my christmas season and i’m not sure what to do about it.

So i’ve been very busy lately, puttering through 3 jobs (though american eagle gives very few...

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 23:50:05 -0500

So i’ve been very busy lately, puttering through 3 jobs (though american eagle gives very few shifts) With chapters i’m there 6 days a week and between all my jobs i’m averaging out over 50 hrs a week some how. days off are a rare occurrence, as are free evenings. it’s nice when i do get one to relax, watch a movie, actually have a chance to do laundry! (that’s a biggie) and it seems the week before christmas will be even crazier. I’ll be working till 11 most evenings, 10 if it’s a gelatini night. but busy’s good right? busy keeps me out of trouble. keeps me from doing stupid things and wanting stupid things. best to keep yourself busy, earn the money and just go day to day no?

i have so much to do before christmas, doubt i’ll be able to see people really. have christmas presents to finish, mom’s calendar to draw and i have to teach lily to stop bitting my hand off when i brush her. any ideas? i’ve already tried distracting her with bacon

Dear Hugh Grant. You may be 52 but I still think you're super adorable. Will you please be my sugar daddy :P lol

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:52:00 -0500

Celebrity sighting at chapters

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 13:13:00 -0500

So i was having my training shift on cash at chapters and who should appear but Staphan Toblonsky. For you gleeks out there, that’s Sandy Rivers, the very very gay ex glee coach from Glee.

For those of you who dont know glee, you’ll likely recognize him from one of the other 800 things he’s been in like heros and groundhog day

Recognize him? I’m sure karina does! lol

He’d come into the store to sign some copies of his new book. Yes he flew all the way here to sign some copies cause turns out one of the women who works at chapters with me is a mutual friend of his. Talk about 6 degrees of separation. I’m now so much closer to the glee cast :P i didnt have my phone so i didnt get a picture with him unfortunately but we chatted a bit. he was very nice :)

So lately i’ve been busy. Some of you know, some of you don’t; I’m now working 3...

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 15:25:07 -0500

So lately i’ve been busy. Some of you know, some of you don’t; I’m now working 3 jobs: Gelatini, American Eagle and Chapters. Keeping busy and making money is good especially since I’m moving out of my parents house and they’re not going to be helping with anything anymore. Kinda makes me wonder though what next.

Time is running out on making a decision. If i’m to go to school for something, I have to start applying after new years. But for what? I could go to algonquin for the baking and pastry arts school. It’s nothing like the dream school in Toronto but dad’s said it’s not an option. Not because of money but because he says it will go no where. Inspiring isn’t it.

The other day i was just browsing through the algonquin program list, hoping something would just jump out at me but things never work like that in reality do they? Life is hard and choices are rarely clear, and i’m particularly bad at making a decision or sticking with it. Alot of the time I either go with someone else’s choice or try to get help with making it. Take the choice away from myself so i dont have to make it. Not exactly a good way to do it.

A friend once told me he saw me helping people, but that could mean so many things doesn’t. I already failed at getting into nursing school, couldn’t even make it through an arts degree. So you look a peg down though i’m not really sure what that is. I couldn’t even man the 911 lines because i’m not bilingual.

Kinda makes me wonder, I’m at risk for getting trapped and i can’t let that happen but i’m not sure where to go next. It’s times like this that i wish magic 8 balls could tell you what to do in ernest. And once you make that choice, how do you know it’s right? What if there is something else, something better, happier, more meaningful.

I just don’t know what i’m doing here i guess. What’s keeping me where I am and where to go next

Future Apartment

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 18:12:22 -0500

So as some of you know, I am moving in with Paul’s boyfriend, Tim in March when his old crapy roommate lives. Me and Lily will move in with Time and his cat pancake and we will also have a large family of fish in Tim’s large fish tank

To prepare for this, I work at Gelatini, American Eagle and now also Chapters :) I’ll be busy but money’s a good thing and the AE and Chapters jobs are seasonal with the chance to stay on so we will see what happens in january.

In true me fashion, I’ve started figuring out what i need for my room, budgetting what i’ll need at the start and everything money part and planning the decor for my room :P

I may not do everything i plan due to money restrictions but here are some picks of what i basically want.

3 of the walls will be this purple:

then the last wall with the window will be this wall paper:

Karina and travis, maybe you recognize this from your apartment hunting days?

Next, I want this pretty very girly (i know i know) bed

BUT… instead of those sheets that my mother would buy me, I’d like these more sophisticated looking ones matching ones :)

And yes everyone, I realize i’m crazy and it’s months away before i move but it’s how i deal with my excitement lol I did it with lily too when i was waiting to be able to bring her home. I bought one thing at a time that i needed for her.

So what do you guys think? Look good?

Discovering pictures I forgot I even had on my phone

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 16:14:11 -0400

So I just did an update sync thing with my phone and computer; something I rarely fo really. and I realized how many pictures I have on it that I seriously love for various reasons so I’ve decided to share them here. Some of you may recognize the people in these photos but that’s pure coincidence :P

Paul and Tim (my new co-worker btw. woo new job at AE lol Thanks tim!) after they’ve both eaten a waffle cone and monica forces that massive martini glass of more gelato on them lol

Char and I decided we wanted to bake a cake and we did it at my place but we told my parents that it was for char’s uncle’s birthday so I wouldn’t get in trouble lol we may have gone a bit crazy with the flowers but char was having fun learning lol

Lily Loo during the car ride home from the farm earlier this month. She liked to watch what was going on so she’d just climb up there herself. I swear I never put her up there!

Lily the bumble bee.

My brother decided to put Lily in the pumpkin we were carving… she was not impressed

That same pumpkin later turned into this master piece. You can’t really tell but there is a scar along the side of the face with staples holding it together. a nice touch I thought lol

Lily likes to grab hold of sydney’s leash and take him for walks around the house. He’s actually started going with her lately lol

This is from right now. Lily was shivering so I put the sweater I made on her and she totally conked out lol

A long time ago, Alex Emma and I went to Value Village. We found this stunning piece for alex, we thought he looked fabulous. Alas, he disagreed

Emma met her new bestie that day

And Alex was humiliated lol you can’t tell easily but he’s got peep toe pumps on. They were alittle small :P

The lifestyles condom car which we later realized was a VHS rewinder lol we originally thought it was like a holding case for condoms lol

This is my friend from camp. It took 3 people in total to get that boot off and about 20 mins. She never wore those boots again lol

My friend alice and I spent many a rainy day puddle jumping, though it was more mud puddle jumping and the end result was never pretty lol

This was a very impressive feat of flexibility on Alex’s part. Also… sushi anytime soon?

Carolyn and kelly love to krump… or well, they flail around and yell “I’m krumping, I’m krumping!” it was always a joy to behold lol one of many reasons I miss my housemates. I had a skype video chat with most of them last night. I may or may not have started crying when we hung up… I’m a sap, I know.

and the final picture I’ve chosen and another reason to miss carolynnie, my housemate. I can’t remember what caused this. I think I was about to do one of our leaping hugs and she thought I was actually going to jump lol I may be wrong though. It was usually her leaping then sleeping on me after work lol

Well that’s all for now folks. Miss you, love you, byeeee